Friday, December 16, 2005

A Stern Goodbye

Today was Howard Stern's final day on free, or as he likes to call it, terrestrial radio. He closed his career on free radio with a mini parade/rally outside his studios.

I must admit it was something of a sad moment for me. Believe it or not I have been a listener for over 15 years, though I skipped most of last year and his daily Bush bash. There were also those torturous years in Atlanta with no Stern. But for most of my days I woke up to the sound of Stern in the morning. Back in high school I would go jogging while Stern was on the air, and the hilarity of his show and particularly the news with Robin Quivers (and I can hear the sentimental music that introduced the newscast as I type this) kept me going that extra mile or two.

Yes, it was/is a rather crude show, and it's only going to get cruder now that he has absolutely no restrictions. But the show was much more than just strippers, lesbians, and weird people who had sex with their mothers/sisters/grandmothers/dogs. Okay, not much more, but it beats the hell out of the rest of the morning schlock. I can not bare the thought of listening to some insipid morning zoo (Oh joy, Elliot in the Morning, I can listen to his whacky DJ voice for hours, I tells ya). Then there's the old coyboy Lameus in the Morning. Even just thinking of listening to that drooling old fart for more than a few minutes causes me to yearn for sweet, sweet death to come and take me. I guess Mike and Mike are okay, but God help us if one of them is out (which seems to be the case like 90% of the time). The sound of Eric Kesilius (or however the hell it is spelled) makes me want to bore a hole through my eye socket with a blunt screwdriver.

So, I guess I'll miss the Stern show. Yeah, he got a little whiny at the end - okay, more whiny than usual. And his repeated invocation of the "American taliban" is pretty freaking stupid. But he did sort of have a point about the FCC, though it's hard to get too worked up about a guy who will now be earning hundreds of millions of dollars for his "persecution."

Fare thee well, Mr. Stern. I might get satellite radio one day, though if I do, well, let's just say "okay, terrific" to the guys I'd prefer to be listening to.

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