Thursday, December 01, 2005


I cringe when I recall that I used to be a regular watcher of the O'Reilly Factor. Well, it was after 9/11 and I was feeling patriotic I guess. Over the years my antipathy to O'Reilly's ginormous ego and his incessant populism has kicked me from that bad habit. But TKS alerts me to this amazing exhange bewteen O'Reilly and Neil Cavuto that aptly highlights both of those charming qualities.
CAVUTO: Okay. Gas prices are down a lot. Why do you think that is?

O’REILLY: Because they’re afraid they’ll go to jail. And those C.E.O.s who manipulated them–

CAVUTO: Why are you sure that they manipulated them?

O’REILLY: I have guys that are inside the five major oil companies - my father used to work for one of those oil companies, by the way - who have told me that in those meetings they look for every way to jack up oil prices after Katrina, every way. When they didn’t have to. And they got scared because in my reporting and some other reporting, they said –

CAVUTO: Wait, you’re taking credit for gas prices being down?

O’REILLY: My reporting and reporting of others.

CAVUTO: Has nothing to do with refineries that came back online or the crisis calmed after the hurricanes?

O’REILLY: The demand for oil in this country is the same now as it was one day after Hurricane Katrina. It’s the same. Selling the same amount of gas and oil.

CAVUTO: But the supply has increased, right?

O’REILLY: The supply has increased? Who knows.

CAVUTO: And it’s traded like a stock, correct?

O’REILLY: It’s traded by speculation, and the bottom line is they were afraid of a federal investigation and they said–

CAVUTO: I think you’re crazy, but you're right on the Christmas, but wrong on this.
Yes, that's right, Bill O'Reilly's bullying of the oil companies is what sparked the decrease in gas prices. For his next trick, Bill O'Reilly will singlehandedly defeat the insurgency, and then stop in France on his way back to fix its immigrant problem. Thanks be to our Lord and Savior, Bill O'Reilly.


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