The Political Spectrum

I am the Angel of Def with my rhymes against humanity,
Teeter-tottering between brilliance and insanity,
The one part the Fuehrer the one part the Pope,
It's the inevitable return baby of the Great White Dope - Bloodhound Gang

My buddy TSL at Geek Soap Box relates this funny bit from legendary Queen guitarist Brian May:

I sense there is a mood of quiet resolve among the people I speak to. We are feeling that we must not go any further down the road of escalation .... this is old stuff, but I personally feel that in the wake of 9/11 an opportunity was missed .... to seek understanding rather than revenge. The Nelson Mandela way. I do not subscribe to this "War on Terrorism" slogan. I believe we have a need to secure a peaceful world for our children, and that it cannot be done by exerting our muscle internationally. It sure hasn't worked yet, has it?! It must be done by adjusting OUR behavior; we must stop playing "Cowboys and Indians" - a self-damning phrase if ever there was one. I no longer believe we are the good guys. We must earn this view of ourselves, and start recognizing that there are other legitimate views of the world than ours.

Brian May should wake up and pray not to God but to Les Paul or whoever it was who invented the electric guitar, because were it not for musical talent, Mr. May would be asking you whether you want fries with that order.

Of course Mr. May is just the latest in a line of people who think that just because they play a mean guitar the world should stop and listen to their oh-so-deep policy pronouncements. Heck, was it not Billy Joe of Green Day who declared that he learned most of his stuff from rock albums? Impressive. While Condi Rice was wasting her time studying at Stanford, Billy Joe was listening to the profound wisdom of guys who were busy puking themselves to death. Surely we are the better for sage foreign policy advice offered in American Idiot. Okay, so maybe it doesn't really delve into the Islamic mindset, or provide us with any coherent strategy in dealing with people who want to blow us all up, but at least it lets us know that we all walk alone, walk alone.

Of course the gold star goes to Coldplay's Chris Martin, the man who declared that, like, Live 8 was the biggest thing, like, ever in human history. The death and resurrection of Christ? Mere child's play as compared to a bunch of self-satisfied limousine liberals who sing a couple of songs to force countrys to extort tax payers to give them more money so that they may in turn blow their hard-earned money on African dictators who will of course utilize the money they have received from western governments to buy more palaces feed their hungry people.

Mr. Paltrow, err Martin, has also offered these pearls of wisdom:

It would be interesting to see how the world would be different if Dick Cheney really listened to Radiohead’s OK Computer. I think the world would improve. That album is f*#!ing brilliant. It changed my life, so why wouldn’t it change his?

I gotta say I agree with part of this: OK Computer is indeed fucking brilliant. It is perhaps the greatest album ever produced, and has had a profound influence on my life.

So that's what bothers me. I have listened to this great album countless times, and yet I prefer to kill rather than "understand" terrorists. Surely I must be missing something. I must not be getting the important meaning in Thom York's lyrics. This merits closer examination.

For example, in "Paranoind Android," York bellows

you don't remember
you don't remember
why don't you remember my name?
off with his head, off with his head
why wont he remember my name...
i guess he does

Hmmmm. You know, I never considered the Israeli-Palestinian conflict that way. Very interesting.

And what does Mr. York have to say about bin Laden's 1998 fatwa against the US?

A heart that's full up like a landfill a job that slowly kills you bruises that won't heal
You were so tired happy bring down the government they don't they don't speak for her
I'll take the quiet life a handshake of carbon monoxide
No alarms and no surprises no alarms and no surprises
No alarms and no surprises
Silent silent

Exactly.

Of course, I really think that Radiohead must speak to Chris Martin personally.

Hey man slow down slow down
idiot slow down slow down

But at least these passionate left-wing entertainers mean well. As we all know leftism is all about peace and harmony, and if you don't believe me, just clink on this link to see the fruits of left-wing pacifism. Go ahead, click.

Update: In the comments section of Geek Soap Box Jeff provides some background information on Brian May. While I maintain that what he said was pretty dumb, his academic pedigree is such that I have to take back my McDonald's remarks. As for Billy Joe and Chris, my comments stand.