Monday, January 31, 2005

See ya, Sammy!

It is with great joy and relief that I report the trade of Sammy Sosa . . . to the Baltimore Orioles. The Cubs traded their slugger for some toothpaste, a couple of jelly beans, and some flavored coffee. Or something like that. Actually, they received a fairly underrated player in Jerry Hairston and some minor leaguers, and considering how Sosa has fallen off, I'd say the Cubs still got the better end of the deal.

So, why the joy? Because, despite all the rumors, the Mets did not trade for Mr. Strikeout himself. The clubhouse cancer will instead wallow away the rest of his career for a mediocre ballclub that will now play in the shadows of the DC baseball team. The Mets, meanwhile, will not have to shell out big bucks for an over-the-hill player that is of little value other than stranding runners on base after whiffing. The baseball gods are smiling.

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