Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Beating the Nearly Dead

In response to Rhode Island's legislature overriding their governor's veto to legalize medicinal marijauna in that state--becoming the 11th state to do so, despite last summer's ridiculous SCOTUS decision, Tom Riley, a spokesman for the Office of National Drug Control Policy in Washington, said the vote showed "misguided and out-of-touch" views on the harms of marijuana. (emphasis mine)

"There's this notion from the '60s or the '70s that marijuana is a harmless drug," Riley said. "It's not."

What is out of touch, and who is being harmed exactly? I don't know about you, but anyone who has seen a drug commercial lately knows it's just about impossible to take a new drug without nausea, ulcers or headaches...but hey, so long as you can f*ck for hours like Bob Dole, where's the harm? Besides, if you croak, your wife can just inject herself full of 100% safe, FDA-approved (you know, because they use like intelligent, er um sneeze, evengelical, errr science) non-carcinogenic silicone, collogen and botox and start a trist with a randy teenager on prescription growth hormones. Nothing like a regulated industry ;) I'm sure somebody with an excruciating brain tumor is feeling quite protected by the Federal Government's action to prevent him from [let's see, what's their evil laundry list?] memory loss, lung cancer, or drowsiness, or BY God, the munchies. Heaven forbid the poor guy might actually enjoy himself for a few minutes before his brain explodes or his mechanized corpse is reduced to the GOP's 2006 election cause celebre ala Schiavo. Is it the fact that these poor terminally ill people just haven't learned to cope with their pain, haven't been born again, or is it because Pfizer and Seagrams don't make "cannabis aspirin," or "pot schnapps, " respectively? And before I'm labeled as conspiratorial, ask yourself, what, in this particular medical context, makes morphine, vicatin, or even zanex for that matter, any different?


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